New Thoughts, Concerns, and other normal daily activities

I've come to a time in my life that I have realized I have been cheated on the one thing that would make me whole...a child. I would love to be a mom. The only problem is, the one child I would want more than anyone is the one just barely out of reach. She is so perfect in so many ways. I've also come to learn that no one is perfect. I am never going to be a perfect step parent but I am ALWAYS there for her. Her smile and happiness determine my moods and actions. I love her. She can drive me mad sometimes with the "16-year-old" attitude but then I think of her life and it is not easy. She has been faced with more adult grief than most of us adults could comprehend. so that makes me think, why do we do that to our children? Why do we make money be the center of our lives when its not? So many people tell me they couldn't do anything with their kids this weekend because they were broke...well, for an hour I watched 2 teenage girls chase eachother in the snow with a shovel and snowballs and they were laughing so hard I'm pretty sure they almost pee'd their pants. thankfully I got it all on video and make a great clip to share on Facebook. It was the best!

So now, the important stuff, why do teenagers nowadays blame themselves for all that is wrong around them and in their lives that is uncontrollable? And why as adults do we apply these pressures to their lives and expect them to make decision we ourselves are too scared to make? I think if adults look further into how their children are behaving, maybe the adults would realize they are the selfish ones.

I'm asked many questions about beng a stepparent as its more common than people realize in this day and age of people having children out of wedlock and divorcing, mixed families are common. I think as a stepparent, its good to realize you will NEVER replace the real think but you can do all that is possible to be a great influence and encourage the child to make the choice best for THEM. But you also have no say in the upbringing. I know more about my stepdaughter...some I didn't need to know but she still shared. At least she can be honest and know I am objective and not going to judge her.

This is why her happiness determines my everyday activities. I love her. If she is happy, I am happy...and so on. She is perfect in all her teenageways.